The MK-Intelligence Agency Saves Money and Time by Pulling the Plug

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multikulti staff practicing a ritual of sacrificing the latest and greatest new born computer at Sugar Grove back in 2012.

multikulti staff practicing a ritual of sacrificing the latest and greatest new born computer at Sugar Grove back in 2012.

After three hours of using a computer, everything crawls and the hard drive cranks as if the mouse cursor is the cookie monster. I asked the developer of the operating system why why why: “Well we knew from the beginning of our operating system development that it needed to be as human like as possible, prone to fatigue and sluggish thinking towards the end of it’s cycle so to give people empathy for computers.” However at multikulti we have not found empathy towards the computers. Often times I come into the office to see a hole in the window where someone recently launched a computer; “with all the programs we had opened the sluggishness prompted us to start the shutdown process. After getting frustrated sitting at the computer for 20 minutes still into the process of shutdown, I stood up, grabbed the box with all my might and launched it into what became a feeling a great relief!” said Dr. Greenlove.

Dr. Greenlove told us how he use to launch programs like FoxPro, Word Perfect and Visual Basic in a flash, “It would take just 10 seconds from turning on my computer to getting to my desktop back in 1993; shutdown would just take 5 seconds and the computer never got sick of what I was doing.

So I talked to our frenemy at the Crusaders Intelligence Agency about what they do. They suggested that when a system starts to get sluggish after about 3 hours of use, just unplug the damn thing and boot it back up. They also suggested that we all work off PlayBoyStation 3 computers in the future as their operating system is not written to be akin to building human empathy for it.

We have introduced this new process and the people at multikulti are doing better working on the global and cosmic issues that have plagued humanity for eons.

We dug up into the archives of computer history at the very beginning of this operating system and found this artifact. We knew it had something to do with what was and still is called "New Technology." We could not however find what this artifact was about.

We dug up into the archives of computer history at the very beginning of this operating system and found this artifact. We knew it had something to do with what was and still is called “New Technology.” We could not however find what this artifact was about.

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