Kids Soon to Be Vaccinated for Cooties
FEMA confirms report of a massive cootie outbreak in schools across the US. Undercover officials working within the Department of Emergency Management have documented evidence from countless sources like 5 year old Jimmy Thomson who said “Katie has cooties.” Katie has recently been brought to a FEMA medical camp and is seeking treatment for her condition. A concerned mother complained “they are injecting them with all that kool-aid and now my son is diagnosed autistic,” she continues “but he does not have cooties anymore.” An outcry of the cooties epidemic has created a world of compassion and love out of an increased need for such attention. Ryan is now happy and cooties does not concern him enough anymore to be concerned about it.