Drop-In Center for Cops to Help Curb Violence Across Cities
Chicago is piloting a drop in center program for Police Officers in an effort to curb city-wide violence. The program introduces a mandatory group titled “Ask Questions First” to encourage officers to identify a situation first before reacting to it. Some officers are inclined to be prescribed the non-mandatory donut regimen which once in their system will curb physical reaction time to allow mental capacities to assess a situation while the physical reaction of their bodies catches up to react in hopes that their physical reactions coincide with their eventual final assessment of a given situation.
A financially backed group has already formed in support of the effort to acquire free donuts to support this program, especially now that there will be a record number of officers expected in the police force, that without the support of this group titled “Donuts for Order” would be a financial burden to all the tax incremental financing going into affluent high risk high rise buildings.
Police will also have the opportunity to expose themselves to kittens and therapy dogs, that when free to roam will test and encourage Police Officers relations to compassion and assist their well-being in feeling what it is like to be a loving human being; to be once again concerned for others in order to “Serve and Protect.”
This drop in center has a graduation status that comes with a real Copper badge, given to officers that have successfully completed the “Ask Questions First” program, and they are welcomed back to help with the drop in center or just come back for their donut prescriptions. Those officers that have completed this program are allowed to patrol the streets. Officers that have not completed the program or are currently in the program are on administrative duties only.
The administrative tasks will be a growing part of the police force, the mayor said which includes: intercepting kitten appreciation Facebook chats, free the lemmings support groups, sheeple are people advocacy group, tin foil is bad for teeth fund as well as other groups that may pose a threat to human destruction or the usual direction of things.